08/24/09

10/28/09

I stood there today, with really no fear.  I mean, she’s ok….I see her every day.  She’s the same Chaya she’s always been….runs, climbs, wrestles with her brother.  I know these things and have faith and proof that our prayers were answered.  Still, I stood there today…..with tears in my eyes as all of the emotions I felt on August 24th came rushing back in.  I stood in that exact spot then too.  I watched and tried to tell her everything was ok so she would hold still for the scan.  Then, she was seemingly holding on for dear life…..too tired to cry, but in too much pain not to.  I couldn’t stand it and I never want to be in that place again.

Today was a bit different.  I’m still trying to get her to hold still for the scan…..she lays there stiff as a board….except for her head…..yeah, the part she’s supposed to be holding still.  She can’t cuz she keeps looking at me and smiling.  Every time she looks at me, I laugh and tell her HOLD YOUR HEAD STILL.  She laughs….which makes her move.  The doctors don’t find it nearly as amusing, but they didn’t see her laying there 2 months ago.  Her smile didn’t mean anything to them.  It was at that point, before the scan was read, I knew the results.  God placed that smile on my little girl to tell me “there she is…..take care of her.”  I felt Him speak that to me.  No, not an audible sound….not anything I heard, but I ‘felt’ Him.  The same way I felt Him 2 months ago.  After all of the tears and doubt and the begging for forgiveness because I doubted, I felt Him say “you have been set free—worry no more.”

What an awesome God we serve!  I look at those 2 pictures above and see a miracle.  I weep as I sit here, in awe of Him.  We can keep trying to grasp how big He is…..How, with all of the world to love, He chose Chaya 2 months ago.  STOP! Stop trying to grasp it.  You can’t…..we can’t.  When you put a value on it or envision a physical thing that big, you’ve missed the boat.  Your imagination cannot think THAT big…..stop trying…..and know…..just know He is, has and always will be…..

the King of Kings.

She loves to see Gabriel, but it’s so hard when it’s time for him to leave.  Part of her doesn’t want him to leave and part of her says it’s not fair that he can leave and she can’t.  Just breaks my heart.  Then, it’s time for us to leave, which translates to her that it’s time for them to hook her up to the machines for the night.  Days and nights are just so full of ups and downs and it’s tough, but like my Mom told me…..this probably won’t be the last Keathley kid to be injured.  We seem to have a knack for it.  Mom reminded me of a 2 year old (me) that had been hit by a car and was in much worse condition than Chaya is in and I turned out ok…..well, ok, that’s debatable, but mentally, I’m ok…..OK, that’s debatable too….NEVERMIND!

Anyway, we heard today that Chaya will be there until, at least, Tuesday, when they will do another CT scan……1 full week from the incident.  I’m guessing that means if all is well on Tuesday, we’ll go home……Hoping that’s true anyway…..they also told us 5 days, which would be tomorrow and that’s obviously not happening.  They gave us the option of being transferred to the military hospital, but we don’t see that as a good option for reasons I don’t care to get into on this blog.

As I stated in the first line…..so many kids and parents have it so much worse and while we certainly appreciate your prayers today, I would ask you pray for others as well.

Here’s some pics and vids from today.

Looking Good!

We played some princess game....Pretty sure I lost!

Thank you!

Taken just 2 days ago.

Going in order, youngest to oldest……

Dear Chaya,

My sweetheart, my lil CookyLou!

Wow, where do I start with you?  I know what first comes to mind…..Daddy’s girl!!  See, you have had an extra dose of Daddy time for the past 2 years.  You’re almost 4 years old and I get all teary eyed when I think of how much you mean to me.  Sometimes I try to hide my love for you so Gabriel won’t think I favor you, but I do favor you.  Just like I favored him when he was little.  You’re only young once, and I enjoy every minute of your youth.

Now then….Daddy’s girl!  There is no mistaking it.  If you were a bit older, we would be twins.  You act just like me and sometimes that’s not such a good thing!  In the end, good and bad, it’s just God’s way of telling me, as we are His, you are definitely mine.  I love you Chaya!

You’re going to start school this fall and I’m just not sure what I’m going to do with myself without you around.  Sure, I’ll have baby Elijah to keep me busy, but I will surely miss you!  From the mornings, when you wake up…..I pick you up to hear those Heavenly words, “Myyyy Daddy.”  I, of course, reply with, “Myyyy Chaya.”  Those moments will never be forgotten.  I live for them!  All through the day, when sometimes you make me crazy, to night time, when I have to hug and kiss you 10 times because you’re convinced you haven’t had any hugs or kisses all day…..Then, it’s “I sure love you Daddy.”  Ahhhh it’s awesome being your Daddy!

Ya know what’s even better?  You and I share a Father.  I know, it’s a bit confusing right at the moment, but that guy, Jesus, I am always telling you about…..He is our Heavenly Father!  You won’t hear much about Him at school cuz the world is a crazy place, but that’s ok Chaya.  Mommy and Daddy will teach you so that you can teach others.  That’s the key baby girl…..don’t hold it in…..your main purpose in this life is to spread the word of Christ to everyone you can.  Live for Jesus Chaya….Live LIKE Jesus…..and you cannot go wrong.

In about a month, you’re going to have a baby brother!  You are super excited about being a big sister and I’m counting on you to help me out.  I have a big sister and I’m not sure what I would have done without her through the years.  I pray that you and Elijah will have that kind of a relationship.  You’re lucky cuz Elijah is only 4 years younger than you.  You two are gonna have a great time and I’m sure he will learn a lot about life from you.

Things are going to change, as they always do when a new life is introduced into the family.  You might not get the attention you’re used to from Daddy and, to be honest, Daddy is kinda scared of how you’re going to handle that.  I’m constantly praying about it though and I trust that God will see us through.  Just know that you will ALWAYS be Daddy’s little girl and I love you with all of my heart.  There is nothing/no one who could ever change that.

Love,

Daddy